The BiPolar Express

A Glimpse Through the Looking Glass

Practice February 5, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — matildebonaparte @ 1:45 pm

Occasionally, P~ and I practice for when I finally go completely off my nut.  A sample follows:

P:    Thanks for calling Uppys118932, this is P~.

M:   P~ it’s me.  I was followed home by two giant white rabbits with red eyes and green lips. They were driving a yugo and now they’re guarding the front door. I think they’re waiting for their leader!

P:   Mom, listen closely.  Head for the tunnels. You’ll be fine.

M:  Don’t you think I tried that?!?  They’ve got hyenias out there, guarding the entrance.  I think I’m trapped.

P:    Make the hyenias laugh.  That way you’ll be able to slip by.

M:   They’ve had their laughers removed.  And they have dynamite.

P:   Damn, laughers removed and dynamite.  They’re really out to get you this time, aren’t they?

M:  (sobbing) uh huh

P:   Okay, well, I get off at midnight.  If you’re still alive and able to get out don’t forget to pick me up.

M:  OKay, I love you.  Talk to you soon.  And could you remember to get me one of my coffees as you’re leaving the store?

P:  Sure.  Good luck with the rabbits and hyenias.

————–

Note:  He claims to never explain these conversations to his coworkers, which would explain why they all look at me funny whenever I go to the store.  I’d love to know what they’re thinking, though.   🙂

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