Sometimes I think people just aren’t happy unless they’re raining on my parade. I take everything personally. I always have. People tease me by saying that I think this is my world and that I just allow others to live in it, but the fact is that I don’t think that I belong in this world at all.
I’m in the middle of doing something painful, but necessary. Why are the things that are most necessary also the most painful? Right now the painful but necessary thing is revealing myself completely, financially speaking, to my othermother and brother. I don’t know when I allowed things to get so bad, but they’re pretty bad. And I hate proving to everyone that I really am stupid and incapable. Its not as if I don’t already feel that way. Now I get to prove it, too.
Yes, I’m feeling sorry for myself.
I guess I’m really the only one who actually rains on my parade.