Well, the weekend is over. The kids were here and we celebrated Nathaniel’s birthday. It seems so quiet here this evening.
We went out to King George and saw Dad & Bobbi & Grandma today. Grandma is doing well, which is good. Bobbi has decided to retire so that she and Dad can stay down here with Grandma and she won’t have to go into a nursing home. I know Bobbi isn’t ready to retire but if I allow myself to be completely selfish for a few seconds I have to admit that I’m glad she’s retiring. I’ll like having here.
Driving home tonight we had to pass the place on I95 where Joshua died. Its always hard. I get the lane furtherest away and I can actually manage it now without crying. We started talking about him, agreed that he was an awful driver.
Peter told me about an incident that had happened when they were both living here with me. David had come over and they were all going to go out somewhere. Peter decided he’d drive and Joshua argued that no, he’d drive. Peter told him that he wasn’t going to ride with him and David said he’d ride with Peter. Joshua responded, “Fuck you both then, I’m not going.” And he didn’t. I had to smile. I could actually hear him in my head, saying that.
I miss him so much.