Three day until Christmas. I’m incredibly sad and ready for the holiday to be over. There doesn’t seem to be much to celebrate this year. My dad is still in the hospital after having been home for only 2 days. Money is tight and I’m still unemployed after 8 months. Peter is working but is unhappy with his life in general and doesn’t see a way out. It’s hard to watch him work so hard and yet remain so entrenched in pain and dissatisfaction. It hurts to not know how to help him or how to make it better. I’ve never been very good at making things better.
You would think that by this point in my life I’d be used to pain and disappointment. You’d think I’d be immune to hurt by people who don’t know and don’t seem to care that they hurt others. You’d think that I’d be immune to hurt in general.
I know that all things will work out for the best. I know that at the end of the day Christmas will be good, it always is. I’m just sad and worried and overwhelmed. Tomorrow will be better. I’m going to see Dad.